Kim Kardashian is threatening legal action over a new blow up doll from Pipedream products called “Kinky Kim” which is obviously supposed to be in her likeness. Lela Star is the cover model for the packaging. The hilarious part is how it’s being advertised…

“busty bubble-butt bimbo who’s had more dark meat inside her than a bucket of fried chicken.”

BWAHAHAHAHA! That’s fucking great. I love it. I’ve said it before, porn is the last area of society that remains untouched by political correctness. I sure as fuck hope it stays that way.

All jokes aside, I think Kim Kardashian is one of the finest women on the fucking planet.

I’m all about sex toys and kinky shit. Whatever floats your boat I say go for it. However, there is some kink that I find just plain creepy — or even downright chilling. I don’t know why but I just get bad vibes from it.

Here’s the kind of shit I’m talking about:

The Dog Face Hood

The Bunny Hood

Pig Face Hood

Again, to each his own, but this shit is too weird for me. It’s like some kind of freak show horror movie. It doesn’t make my dick hard, it makes me want to run as fast as I can in the other direction.

Our good friends at Fleshbot put together a holiday shopping guide of the top 10 sex toys of 2009. I agree with most of what’s on the list, but I wanted to see what you think.

1. Form 2

2. Sqweel

3. Contour Q

4. Finger Tingles

5. Bloomy

6. Imperial

7. Bolero Straightjacket

8. Tenth Anniversary Tristan Butt Plug

9. OhMiBod Freestyle

10. The Real Touch

I actually think The Real Touch should be closer to the top. Missing from this list are some of the amazing glass toys that came out this year. Beyond that, it’s a pretty good list.

The whole “green” movement is way over the top. I don’t buy into the global warming crap anyway, but now everything has to be “green”. Being “green” is good. This eco-crap is now making its way into our fucking bedrooms and I’m not having it.

Being “green” makes me see red. If you’re the kind of tool who only buys “green” sex toys that are good for the planet — you should be shot.

Buy whatever sex toy you fucking like and don’t worry about how fucking “green” it is. If you’re worried about your “carbon footprint” when you’re banging your old lady just give it up. You’re a total douche and shouldn’t be fucking anyone. We don’t need people like you to reproduce.

Privacy Toys is running a sex toy “stimulus sale” for the next 10 days. You can get 10% off for the next 10 days.

I wish I was making this up, but I’m not. Take a look at this “Head O State Obama Dildo” — in “Democratic Blue” no less.

Buy it @ Privacy Toys

Forget all the cliche bullshit associated with Valentine’s day and get your woman something to spice up your love making (or fucking as the case may be). Here are some interesting gifts that could make this the best Valentine’s Day you’ve ever had.

1. Heart Throb Love Kit
2. Kama Sutra Raspberry Kiss Gift Set
3. Essence Pleasure Pak
4. Lover’s Choice Enchanted Evening
5. A bed of roses gift set in champagne bucket
6. Basket of Love
7. Lover’s choice fantasy suite gift set
8. BlowGuard
9. Adam & Eve Sampler Kit
10. Wascally Rabbit Vibrator

Listen up motherfuckers! Christmas is just around the corner and if you haven’t yet bought anything for your better half (and she is your better half) then I have a few suggestions. Why not get her something you both can use to spice things up in the sack? If your wife or girlfriend doesn’t yet have a vibrator then you should get her one. In our shop, we have every toy you could want plus a variety of costumes and lingerie.

Click HERE to visit the House of Sodom Sex Superstore

Click HERE to visit our other store called Privacy Toys

When I first saw the ad for this I thought it was some kind of joke. I suppose it makes sense technically, but who’s really gonna ask their old lady to put in her mouthpiece?

A chocolate spread sold in sex shops in the U.K. called ‘Willy Spread’ is being taken off store shelves after it was found to be contaminated. The stuff is of course imported from China (shocking I know) and sold in the U.K.

The spread is believed to be contaminated with an industrial chemical called melamine. This same substance was found in contaminated milk in China in the last few weeks and caused the death of four babies and sickened thousands more.

Some Chinese-made dairy products have been deliberately contaminated with melamine, a chemical that helps milk register as higher in protein than it actually is. The tainted milk products have caused to the deaths of four babies and sickened tens of thousands across China. The European Union has ordered testing of Chinese-made products including chocolate, candy and cookies that contain more than 15 percent milk powder.

The Food Standards Agency said the chocolate body spread had more than 50 times the allowed level of melamine.

The adult industry needs to really keep an eye on products coming from China. They’ve been sending us potentially cancer causing sex toys for years. The first so-called ‘jelly’ toys to hit the market a few years back it turns out were probably deadly. They were the last fucking things on earth a woman would want to stick inside them.

I remember when shipments of sex toys would have a strange greasy liquid leaking from the box and they smelled horrible. They had actually begun to melt on the way from China.

At any rate, it’s best to stick with products made in the USA when it comes to sex toys or fucking edible underwear, or ‘Willy Spread.’ Oh yeah, and even hair ties.

It’s a real mood killer when you apply Willy Spread and your willy falls off.