I’ve tended to be a fairly vocal defender of Joe Francis over the years. As a businessman I can’t help but admire Joe’s genius for starting Girls Gone Wild. It was an amazingly simple idea that has earned Joe hundreds of millions of dollars.

That said, I can’t defend him on this one. In case you didn’t hear, Joe was thrown out of a club a couple of weeks ago after allegedly punching former Playboy model Jayde Nicole. Nicole says she poured a drink on Francis when he wouldn’t stop hitting on her friend.

Here’s Jayde Nicole:

Obviously, it’s bullshit to pour drinks on people, but Jayde claims Joe responded by punching her in the face and kicking her.

I was skeptical of this claim initially, but now the surveillance tape is out and it’s pretty damning. Whether or not Jayde poured a drink on Joe is irrelevant at this point. What matters is how Joe reacted.

First of all, Joe denies the whole thing. He says Jayde poured a drink on him, and all he did in response was pull her hair.

Joe tells us he was hanging out with the General Manager for Guys and Dolls when Jayde Nicole pushed him from behind and poured a drink on him.
Joe says he turned around and pulled her hair in reaction to the attack. Francis says this is the only contact he made with Jayde…

Suffice it to say, hair pulling is a pussy move for a guy to use on a girl (assuming no sex is involved of course).

With Joe’s denial in mind, take a look at this video…

Joe Francis Attacks Jayde Nicole Security Tape – Watch more Funny Videos

He straight jacked her in that video. She looked like a fucking rag doll. Where I come from, treating a woman like that (any woman) is a good way to get yourself hurt real bad.

Joe is a pussy motherfucker for beating up a woman (an extremely hot playboy model woman).

From Annette’s blog:

Often people ask me, “can a normal guy still be able to satisfy you?”. And I am always so surprised by this question, cause the answer is yes of course and much more better than a porn boy.

First of all, I can’t stand most of the porn boys, they are so full of themselves, dont know how to seduce a girl, they think it works like in porn, you get pussy like you order a beer.
Sorry in real life, you need to have most of the time a interesting conversation first, make yourself interesting, thats the truth!

Porn guys are usually worst than every girl – you need to tell them non stop how good they look, that they’re the best! If you don’t say stuff like this, they’ll tell themselves – that’s even more embarrassing

I could never be with a porn guy in real life – sure they fuck good, but normal guys do it, too. Sure, they have big cocks, but normal guys can have big cocks too!
Sorry I am writing all the time normal guys, I better mean guys which not do porn. I love that normal guys know how to treat a woman how to talk about something besides what kind of workout they do!

That means there’s still hope for every normal guy out there. You don’t have to be a professional cocksman to land a hottie like Annette Schwarz.

The NY Times has discovered the porn industry is shifting away from plot driven porn into more Internet friendly clips that focus on sex.

Savannah Samson said the following to The Times:

The actress known as Savanna Samson once relished preparing for a role. “I couldn’t wait to get my next script,” she said.

There’s no reason to look at them anymore, she said, because her movies now call almost exclusively for action. Specifically, sex.

That’s really something. A porn star complaining that her “script” focuses too much on sex. Give me a break.

Let me just say from the start that if you want to be an actor, then go to Hollywood. If you wanna be a porn star, then come to Porn Valley.

I’ve always thought plot driven porn (like Vivid is mostly known for) is total crap. I know there’s a market for that kind of thing, but by and large it’s bullshit.

I don’t know any dudes who watch plot driven porn. I would love to watch Jesse Jane get fucked, but I refuse to watch some phony plot driven porno.

You have to keep one hand on the fast-forward button just to watch one of those things. Secondly, a lot of the plot driven movies (at least from Vivid) have condoms in them. I don’t need plots and I damn sure don’t need safe sex.

In a way, the Internet has made the porn industry go back to the basics. Porn is finally cutting out the bullshit and becoming what it was always meant to be.

It’s a waste of time and money to worry about crappy costumes, elaborate set decoration, soft lighting, bad dialogue, and smoke machines.

All you need is 1 or more incredibly hot porn stars dressed in some type of stripper gear. The set should be a room with a couch or a bed. 

The intro should be a brief warm-up of the girl undressing and sticking a butt plug in her ass or something.

This should lead right into the fucking. Throat fucking, pussy fucking, and ass fucking — then more throat fucking.

The finale should be an anal creampie the girl shits out and eats.

That is a perfect porn movie.

The purpose of porn is to watch the fucking. Everything else is just filler and fluff.

If the wife, girlfriend, or even “gumar” has been begging you for a dildo, but you’re just a big pussy and don’t want her to have one, I have a compromise that just may save your relationship!

Adult novelty site Privacy Toys is selling do-it-yourself penis molds for making dildos, vibrators, and even candles molded from your own penis.

The appropriately named “Clone-A-Willy” kit is designed by a doctor and comes with everything you need:

Designed by a Doctor, it’s a complete kit that perfectly copies a man’s own penis in super realistic rubber. Each kit comes with easy to follow instructions and includes everything necessary to produce an EXACT rubber copy of any penis! Your finished dildo is made from a proprietary skin-like substance that is not latex or silicone, but a completely safe, non porous rubber material that is hypoallergenic & non-toxic. It’s currently being used throughout Hollywood to create incredibly lifelike masks & special effects. Unlike silicone, it WILL NOT break down when used with water-based OR silicone-based lubricants.

So there you have it! Your old lady can finally have the toy she’s been wanting and you’ll have the satisfaction of seeing your manhood memorialized like some kind of phallic shrine.

The newest anal adventure from the good folks at Jules Jordan Video is called “Elastic Assholes #8” and it was directed by Mike John.

I watched it over the weekend and thought I would give my no BS opinion on it. As a true connoisseur of all things anal sex, I know good anal porn when I see it.

As I’ve said before, I don’t give a shit about stupid sets, fancy costumes, and shitty music. What I care about is nasty anal fucking with extremely hot porn stars.

Instead of giving you a moment by moment account of each scene, I’m just gonna tell you what bitch is in each scene and whether or not the scene was hot.

Scene 1: Kristina Rose

I’m a fan of Kristina Rose. She’s definitely a bad ass looking bitch and I normally enjoy most of her scenes. She has an extremely fuckable ass and it definitely gets fucked in this scene.

Having said that, my only real complaint with the scene is a lack of gapes. There’s a couple of quick gapes from Kristina in this scene, but more a lot more ass gaping would have made the scene hotter.

Scene 2: Dia Zerva

I’ve never heard of this bitch before. She’s decent looking, but I wasn’t really feeling it. She wasn’t hot enough and overall the scene didn’t work for me.

Scene 3: Chayse Evans

Chayse Evans is a definite hottie. She has an ugly tattoo, but otherwise a banging body and a tight ass. The scene was pretty good overall, but for some reason it just didn’t do it for me.

Scene 4: Holly Fox

Holly is a decent looking. I thought she came across good in the scene and seemed to have good chemistry with the James Deen. Pretty good anal throughout, but Holly just doesn’t quite put me where I need to be.

Scene 5: Charlotte Vale

This was my favorite scene of the movie. I haven’t seen very many scenes with Charlotte Vale, but this scene made look for more of her. This bitch is just so damn sexy and you can tell she loves to fuck. Great anal throughout with excellent gaping action. I give this scene an A+

Scene 6: Lexi Love

I can’t really explain why, but I’ve never really liked Lexi Love. She’s a popular performer and a total anal slut, but she just doesn’t appeal to me all that much. Good anal fucking throughout the scene and decent gaping action as well. Lexi needs to shave her pussy hair off.

Final Thoughts:

This was an ok movie. If you’re not a serious consumer of porn, you’ll probably love it. For me however, I found it lacking. With the exception of Kristina Rose and Charlotte Vale, I think the rest of the female talent is average at best.

I also think Mike John could have upped the nastiness level a little bit. Not enough gaping or ass to mouth for me.

Instead of buying the entire movie, I would recommend watching only the scenes you want at House of Sodom VOD.

When it comes to hardcore porn, few things are as hot as a fucking creampie. For those not in the loop, a creampie is an internal cum shot. Meaning the dude either blows his load in the ass or the pussy — I prefer the ass.

I think probably what makes creampies so hot is the fact that they represent the most irresponsible of behaviors. Watching a girl take a cum shot in her ass from 5 or 6 dudes is beyond insane and crosses over into whacko territory, but that’s what makes it so fucking hot.

At any rate, if you wanna enjoy some vicious creampies then you need to do yourself a favor and check out All Internal. Most of the whores on the site are European, but they’re bad ass bitches who just don’t give a fuck.

Here’s a few clips:

Annette wrote the following on her blog:

A lot of people write me mails like, “I wish you would do a scene with…..”  Jesse Jane or Sasha Grey. So I will tell you which girls let my heart bump faster and let my pussy get wet instantly!

1. Clara G. sooooooo pretty and sooooo nasty – I would love to piss on her feet!
2. Amber Rayne, she is fucking nuts. I love this crazy slut, she takes whatever you give her!
3. Mandy Bright – no other loves my blood as much as she.
4. Rita Faltoyano gives a great looking head, but she’s so bitchy. I would beat it out of her model looking body.
5. Brianna Love and her fucking awesome voice …. and of course ASS!

I would fuck them all in a different way, but everytime it would be real…. maybe I forget someone at the moment, but my top five would be that! And urs?

She wants to piss on Clara G.’s feet — how can you not love that? If you want to see some of the nastiest, hottest porn in the fucking world then check out TotallyAnnette.com.

Annette says on her blog that it really turns her on to spread her asshole and pussy open for her partner to let him know that all her holes are open to him. I’m not really sure what to say about that other than – I wish I was the fucking partner.

If you like gaping assholes (and we know you do) then take a look at these gaping assholes.

Lezbo Honeys is the web’s best site for kinky lesbian girls! These hotties simply love to enjoy each other in a way only girls can caress each other. They play with their wet pussies and tiny asses with their slim fingers, soft lips and huge strap-on dongs. If you have a fetish for wet kisses, girl-on-girl action and pussylicking plays, this is the perfect place for you! You can read the full review of Lezbo Honeys at our review site located HERE.

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