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Joe Francis Says He Didn’t Punch Playmate Jayde Nicole

October 15th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Porn News, Video

I’ve tended to be a fairly vocal defender of Joe Francis over the years. As a businessman I can’t help but admire Joe’s genius for starting Girls Gone Wild. It was an amazingly simple idea that has earned Joe hundreds of millions of dollars.

That said, I can’t defend him on this one. In case you didn’t hear, Joe was thrown out of a club a couple of weeks ago after allegedly punching former Playboy model Jayde Nicole. Nicole says she poured a drink on Francis when he wouldn’t stop hitting on her friend.

Here’s Jayde Nicole:

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Obviously, it’s bullshit to pour drinks on people, but Jayde claims Joe responded by punching her in the face and kicking her.

I was skeptical of this claim initially, but now the surveillance tape is out and it’s pretty damning. Whether or not Jayde poured a drink on Joe is irrelevant at this point. What matters is how Joe reacted.

First of all, Joe denies the whole thing. He says Jayde poured a drink on him, and all he did in response was pull her hair.

Joe tells us he was hanging out with the General Manager for Guys and Dolls when Jayde Nicole pushed him from behind and poured a drink on him.
Joe says he turned around and pulled her hair in reaction to the attack. Francis says this is the only contact he made with Jayde…

Suffice it to say, hair pulling is a pussy move for a guy to use on a girl (assuming no sex is involved of course).

With Joe’s denial in mind, take a look at this video


Joe Francis Attacks Jayde Nicole Security Tape – Watch more Funny Videos

He straight jacked her in that video. She looked like a fucking rag doll. Where I come from, treating a woman like that (any woman) is a good way to get yourself hurt real bad.

Joe is a pussy motherfucker for beating up a woman (an extremely hot playboy model woman).

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Annette Schwarz Compares Porn Boys To Normal Boys

October 6th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Porn News

2009 03 26 AnnetteSchwarz2 thumb Annette Schwarz Compares Porn Boys To Normal Boys

From Annette’s blog:

Often people ask me, “can a normal guy still be able to satisfy you?”. And I am always so surprised by this question, cause the answer is yes of course and much more better than a porn boy.

First of all, I can’t stand most of the porn boys, they are so full of themselves, dont know how to seduce a girl, they think it works like in porn, you get pussy like you order a beer.
Sorry in real life, you need to have most of the time a interesting conversation first, make yourself interesting, thats the truth!

Porn guys are usually worst than every girl – you need to tell them non stop how good they look, that they’re the best! If you don’t say stuff like this, they’ll tell themselves – that’s even more embarrassing

I could never be with a porn guy in real life – sure they fuck good, but normal guys do it, too. Sure, they have big cocks, but normal guys can have big cocks too!
Sorry I am writing all the time normal guys, I better mean guys which not do porn. I love that normal guys know how to treat a woman how to talk about something besides what kind of workout they do!

That means there’s still hope for every normal guy out there. You don’t have to be a professional cocksman to land a hottie like Annette Schwarz.

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NY Times Writes About Loss Of ‘Narrative Arc’ In Porn

July 9th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Porn News

The NY Times has discovered the porn industry is shifting away from plot driven porn into more Internet friendly clips that focus on sex.

Savannah Samson said the following to The Times:

The actress known as Savanna Samson once relished preparing for a role. “I couldn’t wait to get my next script,” she said.

There’s no reason to look at them anymore, she said, because her movies now call almost exclusively for action. Specifically, sex.

That’s really something. A porn star complaining that her “script” focuses too much on sex. Give me a break.

Let me just say from the start that if you want to be an actor, then go to Hollywood. If you wanna be a porn star, then come to Porn Valley.

I’ve always thought plot driven porn (like Vivid is mostly known for) is total crap. I know there’s a market for that kind of thing, but by and large it’s bullshit.

I don’t know any dudes who watch plot driven porn. I would love to watch Jesse Jane get fucked, but I refuse to watch some phony plot driven porno.

You have to keep one hand on the fast-forward button just to watch one of those things. Secondly, a lot of the plot driven movies (at least from Vivid) have condoms in them. I don’t need plots and I damn sure don’t need safe sex.

In a way, the Internet has made the porn industry go back to the basics. Porn is finally cutting out the bullshit and becoming what it was always meant to be.

It’s a waste of time and money to worry about crappy costumes, elaborate set decoration, soft lighting, bad dialogue, and smoke machines.

All you need is 1 or more incredibly hot porn stars dressed in some type of stripper gear. The set should be a room with a couch or a bed. 

The intro should be a brief warm-up of the girl undressing and sticking a butt plug in her ass or something.

This should lead right into the fucking. Throat fucking, pussy fucking, and ass fucking — then more throat fucking.

The finale should be an anal creampie the girl shits out and eats.

That is a perfect porn movie.

The purpose of porn is to watch the fucking. Everything else is just filler and fluff.

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Give The Wife A Dildo Molded From Your Own Wang

July 8th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in adult shopping

Clone-A-Willy

If the wife, girlfriend, or even “gumar” has been begging you for a dildo, but you’re just a big pussy and don’t want her to have one, I have a compromise that just may save your relationship!

Adult novelty site Privacy Toys is selling do-it-yourself penis molds for making dildos, vibrators, and even candles molded from your own penis.

The appropriately named “Clone-A-Willy” kit is designed by a doctor and comes with everything you need:

Designed by a Doctor, it’s a complete kit that perfectly copies a man’s own penis in super realistic rubber. Each kit comes with easy to follow instructions and includes everything necessary to produce an EXACT rubber copy of any penis! Your finished dildo is made from a proprietary skin-like substance that is not latex or silicone, but a completely safe, non porous rubber material that is hypoallergenic & non-toxic. It’s currently being used throughout Hollywood to create incredibly lifelike masks & special effects. Unlike silicone, it WILL NOT break down when used with water-based OR silicone-based lubricants.

So there you have it! Your old lady can finally have the toy she’s been wanting and you’ll have the satisfaction of seeing your manhood memorialized like some kind of phallic shrine.

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Review: Elastic Assholes 8

June 29th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in reviews

Elastic-Assholes-8

The newest anal adventure from the good folks at Jules Jordan Video is called “Elastic Assholes #8” and it was directed by Mike John.

I watched it over the weekend and thought I would give my no BS opinion on it. As a true connoisseur of all things anal sex, I know good anal porn when I see it.

As I’ve said before, I don’t give a shit about stupid sets, fancy costumes, and shitty music. What I care about is nasty anal fucking with extremely hot porn stars.

Instead of giving you a moment by moment account of each scene, I’m just gonna tell you what bitch is in each scene and whether or not the scene was hot.

Scene 1: Kristina Rose

I’m a fan of Kristina Rose. She’s definitely a bad ass looking bitch and I normally enjoy most of her scenes. She has an extremely fuckable ass and it definitely gets fucked in this scene.

Having said that, my only real complaint with the scene is a lack of gapes. There’s a couple of quick gapes from Kristina in this scene, but more a lot more ass gaping would have made the scene hotter.

Scene 2: Dia Zerva

I’ve never heard of this bitch before. She’s decent looking, but I wasn’t really feeling it. She wasn’t hot enough and overall the scene didn’t work for me.

Scene 3: Chayse Evans

Chayse Evans is a definite hottie. She has an ugly tattoo, but otherwise a banging body and a tight ass. The scene was pretty good overall, but for some reason it just didn’t do it for me.

Scene 4: Holly Fox

Holly is a decent looking. I thought she came across good in the scene and seemed to have good chemistry with the James Deen. Pretty good anal throughout, but Holly just doesn’t quite put me where I need to be.

Scene 5: Charlotte Vale

This was my favorite scene of the movie. I haven’t seen very many scenes with Charlotte Vale, but this scene made look for more of her. This bitch is just so damn sexy and you can tell she loves to fuck. Great anal throughout with excellent gaping action. I give this scene an A+

Scene 6: Lexi Love

I can’t really explain why, but I’ve never really liked Lexi Love. She’s a popular performer and a total anal slut, but she just doesn’t appeal to me all that much. Good anal fucking throughout the scene and decent gaping action as well. Lexi needs to shave her pussy hair off.

Final Thoughts:

This was an ok movie. If you’re not a serious consumer of porn, you’ll probably love it. For me however, I found it lacking. With the exception of Kristina Rose and Charlotte Vale, I think the rest of the female talent is average at best.

I also think Mike John could have upped the nastiness level a little bit. Not enough gaping or ass to mouth for me.

Instead of buying the entire movie, I would recommend watching only the scenes you want at House of Sodom VOD.

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It’s All About The Creampies

March 18th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Video

When it comes to hardcore porn, few things are as hot as a fucking creampie. For those not in the loop, a creampie is an internal cum shot. Meaning the dude either blows his load in the ass or the pussy — I prefer the ass.

I think probably what makes creampies so hot is the fact that they represent the most irresponsible of behaviors. Watching a girl take a cum shot in her ass from 5 or 6 dudes is beyond insane and crosses over into whacko territory, but that’s what makes it so fucking hot.

At any rate, if you wanna enjoy some vicious creampies then you need to do yourself a favor and check out All Internal. Most of the whores on the site are European, but they’re bad ass bitches who just don’t give a fuck.

Here’s a few clips:

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Annette Schwarz’s Favorite Porn Sluts

March 17th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Porn News

Annette-Freeones

Annette wrote the following on her blog:

A lot of people write me mails like, “I wish you would do a scene with…..”  Jesse Jane or Sasha Grey. So I will tell you which girls let my heart bump faster and let my pussy get wet instantly!

  1. Clara G. sooooooo pretty and sooooo nasty – I would love to piss on her feet!
  2. Amber Rayne, she is fucking nuts. I love this crazy slut, she takes whatever you give her!
  3. Mandy Bright – no other loves my blood as much as she.
  4. Rita Faltoyano gives a great looking head, but she’s so bitchy. I would beat it out of her model looking body.
  5. Brianna Love and her fucking awesome voice …. and of course ASS!

I would fuck them all in a different way, but everytime it would be real…. maybe I forget someone at the moment, but my top five would be that! And urs?

She wants to piss on Clara G.’s feet — how can you not love that? If you want to see some of the nastiest, hottest porn in the fucking world then check out TotallyAnnette.com.

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Annette Schwarz Opens Her Holes

March 3rd, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Porn News

Annette says on her blog that it really turns her on to spread her asshole and pussy open for her partner to let him know that all her holes are open to him. I’m not really sure what to say about that other than – I wish I was the fucking partner.

spread-my-hole

If you like gaping assholes (and we know you do) then take a look at these gaping assholes.

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Lezbo Honeys

May 26th, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in Movies

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Lezbo Honeys is the web’s best site for kinky lesbian girls! These hotties simply love to enjoy each other in a way only girls can caress each other. They play with their wet pussies and tiny asses with their slim fingers, soft lips and huge strap-on dongs. If you have a fetish for wet kisses, girl-on-girl action and pussylicking plays, this is the perfect place for you! You can read the full review of Lezbo Honeys at our review site located HERE.

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Cute Teen Cheaters

May 22nd, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in Movies

teen cheaters Cute Teen Cheaters

Cute Teen Cheaters is a great website that features some of the hottest and dirtiest teen sluts on the web. These fucking bitches love their boyfriends, but also love to get fucked just as much. Watch as these horny tramps cheat on their men over and over again to make sure they are completely satisfied. They have huge sex drives and a sexual appetite that cannot be matched by anyone else. These dirty whores are willing to suck and fuck until they get enough cock to make them happy. There is a ton of pussy pounding, cock sucking and cum flying action packed inside the member’s area just waiting for you. Join now for only $1.00 to see why Cute Teen Cheaters is one of the hottest teen fuck sites on the internet today. They feature some very high quality videos and pictures of the sexiest teen bitches ever.

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Too Big For That Pussy

May 19th, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in Movies, Uncategorized

too big Too Big For That Pussy

Too Big For That Pussy gives new meaning to the phrase “third leg.” Pussies and assholes are stretched to there very limit on this site and you can join for only $1.00!

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Stick Your Fist In It

May 11th, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in Movies

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Sticking things inside the various holes on a bitch is always a lot of fun and one of the best things to stick inside a bitch is your fist. Believe it or not with a little practice you can get your fist inside the asshole or pussy of almost any whore! But don’t take my word for it, look at Teach Me Fisting and you can see it all for yourself.

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Teach Me Fisting

May 1st, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in Movies

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No matter how many times I see it watching a human fist being inserted into an asshole or pussy is fascinating. Apparantely the fucking whores on this site feel the same way because everything up to and including the kitchen sink are inserted into their holes. The site is called Teach Me Fisting and you can read the full review at our review site HERE.

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Belladonna Gets Moldy

April 30th, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in Porn News

blog 20070427 1 Belladonna Gets Moldy

By now we’re all well acquainted (or should be) with do-it-yourself cock mold kits, which are quite the challenge since the cock-bearer needs to stay nice and still and nice and hard at the same time. But despite whatever those tidy shrinkwrapped packages containing the final product may lead you to believe, molds of lady parts are complicated in a whole other way, since the goop needs to get into all those folds and creases in a way that doesn’t end up looking like a piece of abstract latex origami. In her latest blog posting on MySpace, Belladonna takes us through the process of getting her pussy and ass (complete with gape), face, and fist molds done —with pictures even! And it isn’t even NSFMS (Not Safe for MySpace, those boobie-censoring bastards) since all her naughty bits are covered in flesh-colored alginate. It’s like a sexy science experiment, though we recommend you don’t try this at home without professional supervision. Unless, of course, you’re looking for a piece of abstract latex origami to use as a paperweight or something.

“Mold can be a wonderful thing!” (Belladonna @ myspace.com)
Enter Belladonna (enterbelladonna.com)

[Fleshbot]

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Cheap Ass Fucking

April 29th, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in Movies

review 9bas 1 us Cheap Ass Fucking

Hardcore ass pounding action is what awaits you once inside the members area of 9 Buck Anal Scenes. These guys deliver some of the highest quality videos and images that can be found anywhere and every single one of these videos features a hot and horny bitch who loves to get pounded good and hard in her tight sweet asshole. These horny sluts pass on getting fucked in the pussy and would much rather have a nice, rock hard cock shoved deep into their asses.  You will get unlimited access to the entire hot, uncensored ass fucking action for only 9 dollars and thats a good fucking deal.

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Lesbian Action

April 6th, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in Uncategorized

SP32 20070406 155857 Lesbian Action
If you like barely legal teens fucking and sucking each other then Flirty Pussy is the place for you. They have a really nice collection of videos and picture galleries so check them out.

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CalExotics to Release Casey Parker Ass, Pussy Molds

April 4th, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in Uncategorized

r3 22107 8 CalExotics to Release Casey Parker Ass, Pussy Molds
CHINO, Calif. — Sex toy company CalExotics has molded the pussy and ass of Shane’s World contract star Casey Parker and are now in the final phases of completing and releasing two lifelike masturbators under the Shane’s World brand name.

Parker told XBIZ that holding the prototype is like holding her own vagina, and she is amazed at how accurate the mold came out.

“It looks exactly like my pussy,” Parker said. “Every little fold is in it.”

Full Story HERE

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Black Dong In Hong Kong

March 12th, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in Uncategorized

SP32 20070312 162711 Black Dong In Hong Kong
Here is a site with an interesting porn niche. All black dudes and Asian bitches! If you like to see enormous black dongs ramming Asian sluts in every hole, then this is probably the right sight for you! The best part is you can join this site for only $1.00!! Here are some galleries from “Black Dong In Hong Kong.”

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Kiara

February 28th, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in Uncategorized

She was minding her own business at her retail job when backzilla walked in with his cob. This thick piece of country pussy was in for a shock when shane whipped out his cock and she found out it wasn’t a sock

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Jaylynn

February 27th, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in Uncategorized

Jaylynn was sheltered and pampered, keeping her pussy tight, but when she discovered Shane’s cock, she knew the difference between black and white. Now she walks bow legged, and and skips with a whistle, after taking a ride on Shane’s Mighty Meat Missle.

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