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Review: Elastic Assholes 8

June 29th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in reviews

Elastic-Assholes-8

The newest anal adventure from the good folks at Jules Jordan Video is called “Elastic Assholes #8” and it was directed by Mike John.

I watched it over the weekend and thought I would give my no BS opinion on it. As a true connoisseur of all things anal sex, I know good anal porn when I see it.

As I’ve said before, I don’t give a shit about stupid sets, fancy costumes, and shitty music. What I care about is nasty anal fucking with extremely hot porn stars.

Instead of giving you a moment by moment account of each scene, I’m just gonna tell you what bitch is in each scene and whether or not the scene was hot.

Scene 1: Kristina Rose

I’m a fan of Kristina Rose. She’s definitely a bad ass looking bitch and I normally enjoy most of her scenes. She has an extremely fuckable ass and it definitely gets fucked in this scene.

Having said that, my only real complaint with the scene is a lack of gapes. There’s a couple of quick gapes from Kristina in this scene, but more a lot more ass gaping would have made the scene hotter.

Scene 2: Dia Zerva

I’ve never heard of this bitch before. She’s decent looking, but I wasn’t really feeling it. She wasn’t hot enough and overall the scene didn’t work for me.

Scene 3: Chayse Evans

Chayse Evans is a definite hottie. She has an ugly tattoo, but otherwise a banging body and a tight ass. The scene was pretty good overall, but for some reason it just didn’t do it for me.

Scene 4: Holly Fox

Holly is a decent looking. I thought she came across good in the scene and seemed to have good chemistry with the James Deen. Pretty good anal throughout, but Holly just doesn’t quite put me where I need to be.

Scene 5: Charlotte Vale

This was my favorite scene of the movie. I haven’t seen very many scenes with Charlotte Vale, but this scene made look for more of her. This bitch is just so damn sexy and you can tell she loves to fuck. Great anal throughout with excellent gaping action. I give this scene an A+

Scene 6: Lexi Love

I can’t really explain why, but I’ve never really liked Lexi Love. She’s a popular performer and a total anal slut, but she just doesn’t appeal to me all that much. Good anal fucking throughout the scene and decent gaping action as well. Lexi needs to shave her pussy hair off.

Final Thoughts:

This was an ok movie. If you’re not a serious consumer of porn, you’ll probably love it. For me however, I found it lacking. With the exception of Kristina Rose and Charlotte Vale, I think the rest of the female talent is average at best.

I also think Mike John could have upped the nastiness level a little bit. Not enough gaping or ass to mouth for me.

Instead of buying the entire movie, I would recommend watching only the scenes you want at House of Sodom VOD.

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Jules Jordan Launches “I Need It Black” Website

May 4th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Movies, Pictures

Porn king Jules Jordan has launched a brand new interracial site called I Need It Black. Like everything else Jules Jordan makes, this site is fucking awesome. All the best camera angles, all the best bitches, and the biggest, blackest dicks around. If you like watching little white sluts getting annihilated by massive black man meat — then you’re gonna fucking love I Need It Black.

Here’s Brittney Skye getting reamed:

and that’s not all…

Jenna Haze
Shyla Stylez
Brianna Love
Gina Lynn
Annette Schwarz
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See more @ INeedItBlack.com

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Bobbi Starr and Dana DeArmond Star In “Insatiable Voyage”

February 9th, 2009 | 1 Comment | Posted in Movies, Porn News

Fleshbot has a review of Mike John’s latest flick called “Insatiable Voyage.” It stars two of the most insatiable porn whores on the planet — Bobbi Starr and Dana DeArmond. It looks like it’s gonna have some pretty nice hole stretching, and generous views of Bobbi Starr’s unbelievable gaping asshole. Her asshole is truly a work of art.

See more @ JulesJordanVideo.com

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Coming Soon — Lex The Impaler 4

December 9th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in Uncategorized

lex the impaler 4 dvd large 300x202 Coming Soon    Lex The Impaler 4

That’s right motherfuckers, Lexington Steele has a brand new joint dropping on Dec. 11th. It’s called Lex The Impaler 4 and it looks like it’s gonna be every bit as good as the previous 3 volumes.

It’s got an all-star cast that includes such incredible sluts as Lisa Ann, Gianna Michaels, Jenny Hendrix (my favorite), Kelly Divine, and Raven Black.

It really doesn’t get much better than watching Lex hammer assholes and throats. Especially when said assholes and throats belong to the likes of Jenny Hendrix and Kelly Divine.

Feast your eyes on the following pics to get an indication of things to come cum:

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Click HERE to watch the trailer for Lex The Impaler 4

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Coming Soon: Tunnel Butts

November 10th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in Movies

It’s always exciting to see what new filth Jules Jordan and his evil minions are planning to unleash on the world next. Jules really has assembled the best directors in the business under one roof. No matter which one is directing you can count on a nasty fucking piece of work.

Which is why I expect nothing less of the soon-to-be-released, Tunnel Butts from director Chris Rolie.

This delightful film will feature such asstastic stars as Melissa Lauren, Kaci Starr, Jamie Elle, Kelly Wells, Adrianne Nicole, Jaslin Diaz, Heidi Mayne, Cassadra Cruz, Ricki White, and Mason Moore.

The title alone gives an indication of the dark and decadent surprises within.

The only depressing thing about Tunnel Butts is that you’re gonna have to wait until Nov. 20th to see it. But before you go slit your wrists to avoid the painful wait, take a look at this little preview…

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See more filth from Jules Jordan @ his official website

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Jules Jordan: The King Of Anal

August 14th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in Movies

julesjordanpc280 Jules Jordan: The King Of Anal

It’s been a while since any good Jules Jordan shit has been posted, so I intend to remedy that right now. Anytime I start thinking some new porn director makes the best movies, I end up watching a Jules Jordan movie and I quickly realize there can only be one king — Jules Jordan.

Don’t take my fucking word for it, have a look:

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Sperm Swallowers: The Place For Monster Facials

April 15th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in Movies, Pictures

spermswallowpc195 Sperm Swallowers: The Place For Monster Facials

Porn just wouldn’t be porn without sticky facials. The right to glaze a bitch’s face like a Krispy Kreme donut is a great American tradition. In keeping with that tradition I bring you a site called Sperm Swallowers. Since this site is from Jules Jordan, you can be sure you’re getting the best damn facial and cum eating movies the world has ever seen.

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Jules Jordan: The True King Of Porn

April 2nd, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in Movies, Pictures

julesjordanpc280 Jules Jordan: The True King Of Porn

As someone who is both an avid consumer of porn and makes a living from it, I frequently find myself in heated debates about who makes the best porn movies. Porn is one of those things that overwhelms the senses and clouds the judgment which can lead to an ever changing opinion about who the best porn director is.

So rather than enter into the same tired debate and in light of recent business decisions on the part of one company, I’m going to tell you who the best porn company is. When I say “best” I mean the company that consistently puts out the most hardcore shit, uses the best looking bitches, and has the highest quality in terms of production (no shaky cams, bad lighting, etc.).

That company is without a doubt Jules Jordan. On his own just in terms of awards, Jules Jordan has won more awards than any porn director in history. His anal scenes are legendary and his camera work is about as good as it gets, but now his company has gone even further.

Not only are the movies Jordan shoots himself incredible, but now his company distributes movies shot by Erik Everhard, Mike John, and others.

It had been a while since I had watched a Jules Jordan movie, but last night I watched a few of the latest movies he’s released as well as a few from 3 or 4 years ago. There’s just no comparison to any other porn company in existence.

Whether it’s Jules Jordan himself shooting the movie, Erik Everhard, or someone else, the camera work is absolutely phenomenal. Every single movie feautures the absolute biggest names in the business, not that euro trash so many porn companies are fond of using.

When I say biggest names, I mean people like Jenna Haze (Jules Jordan’s actual girlfriend), Gina Lynn, Hillary Scott, Amy Ried, Lela Star, Bree Olson, Aurora Snow, Cindy Crawford, Lanny Barbie, Courtney Cummz, Teagan Presley, Roxy Jezel, and about 1,000 others.

The bottom line is this, if you see a movie that carries the Jules Jordan logo at the top you can be certain your getting the highest quality product on the market.

As a reward for enduring my long winded speech, take a look at these galleries from Jules Jordan. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

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The Ass Master

March 12th, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in Uncategorized

SP32 20070312 163411 The Ass Master
Anyone who knows the first thing about ass fucking knows about Jules Jordan. In the world of porn he is the undisputed ass master. Now he has a site called “Ass Fixation” where he has gathered all his best ass fuckings and put them all in one place. Take a look at these galleries.

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Azz Fixation

February 13th, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in Uncategorized

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Nobody, absolutely nobody fucks the female ass like Jules Jordan! Get exclusive access to the entire library of ass worship movies from Jules Jordan. Here are some galleries from “Jules Jordan Ass Fixation.”

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Jules Jordan Is The AssMaster

February 5th, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in Uncategorized

SP32 20070205 121618 Jules Jordan Is The AssMaster
Anyone who knows porn, knows Jules Jordan. He has won more awards than any director in the history of porn. He has an obsession with the female ass much like myself and there is nobody on earth that makes a better anal porn flick than Jules. His other claim to fame is that his girlfriend just happens to be none other than Jenna Haze who just may have the best ass in porn. The reason for telling you all of this is that Jules Jordan has a new site called “Ass Fixation” and you would be doing yourself a great disservice if you don’t join it. Here are some galleries compliments of Jules Jordan.

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