HOUSE OF SODOM

BlowGuard — The Perfect Gift?

When I first saw the ad for this I thought it was some kind of joke. I suppose it makes sense technically, but who’s really gonna ask their old lady to put in her mouthpiece?

Tags: blowguard, Blowjobs, Funny, gadgets, gift ideas, mouthpiece, Sex Toys

Sean Penn Wanted More Gay Sex — A Lot More

Not only is Sean Penn a commie pinko left-winger, but he also apparently likes men. Penn’s latest movie called Milk is about gay politician and activist Harvey Milk. Penn’s co-star in the film, James Franco, says that when he first got the script and agreed to do the movie there was only one scene in which he would have to kiss Penn.

Then in October, Franco said he received a newly revised script with more kissing scenes and a full sex scene. When he approached the director about the sudden increase in gay sex — director Gus Van Sant said it was Sean Penn’s idea.

Here’s the really gay part:

Franco had also recently said in an interview that Penn had bragged to his ex-wife Madonna, who has pushed gender boundaries throughout her career, about his first on-screen gay love scene.

“After our kiss,” Franco said, “Sean texted Madonna and said ‘I just popped my cherry kissing a guy. I thought of you. I don’t know why.’”

What a flaming douchebag.

Tags: Celebrities, Funny, Hollywood, james franco, milk, News, penn likes men, sean penn

If Tera Patrick Were President

As you know, Genesis Magazine asked several porn stars what they would do if elected president. We’ve already told you what Bree Olson, Stoya, and Jesse Jane said — now hear from Tera Patrick!

If I was elected President, I would…

…truly work on giving the country a real makeover; Maybe creating a special state where anything goes, like Nevada or something.

I would suggest focusing our efforts on education, as knowledge is power, and one of our biggest problems is us not investing in our own children, who hold the future in their hands.

I would make a “National Breast Awareness Day” as breast cancer is a serious issue, and it could be a kind of boob-celebration. Imagine the parade us porn stars could do.

I would also focus on lots of environmental issues. All the money in the world can’t buy us a new atmosphere.

Lastly, I would attend all foreign affairs meetings and negotiations with myself and my cabinet of hotties all in Mistress Couture Lingerie, and bearing gifts of Teravision DVD’s, Tera Patrick calendars, copies of GENESIS, and maybe even a good old-fashioned American lapdance. I think you get more with sugar than you do with vinegar!

Hey, if the Terminator can be governor, why not a porn actress for president? See you in the PINK house. Oh yeah, I’m painting it!

-Tera Patrick

I actually think Tera could potentially solve the whole radical Islam thing with gifts of Teravision DVD’s, calenders, and lap dances. Those bastards are so sexually repressed that a lap dance from Tera Patrick would likely kill them.

Speaking of Tera…

See more Tera @ TeraPatrick.com

Tags: Adult Industry, Funny, genesis magazine, politics and porn, Porn News, porn star president, Tera Patrick

If Stoya Were President

Yesterday, I told you about Bree Olson’s surprising answer when Genesis Magazine asked her what she would do if elected president.

Today, let’s see what porn slut Stoya would do:

If I was elected President, I would…

…most likely get bored and abdicate the oval office after a few days. Four years of what appears to be political schmoozing and an illusion of power over what laws are passed isn’t something that appeals to me, and there are many other people better suited to the job. I wouldn’t be averse to shooting an interracial fuck scene in the Lincoln Bedroom though. It seems appropriate given how pro-emancipation he was.

—Digital Playground contract star, Stoya™

Another surprising answer from one of Porn Valley’s finest. Now let’s forget about what Stoya is saying and just look at her…

See more of Stoya at digitalplayground.com

Tags: Funny, genesis magazine, porn star president, porn star stoya, stoya, stoya pictures

If Bree Olson Were President

Since we’re in the heat of a contentious political season right now and the presidential election is right around the corner, Genesis Magazine decided to ask some porn stars what they would do if they were elected president.

Here’s what Bree Olson said:

…build a wall between the US and Mexico immediately. It is difficult for any economy to have the burden to provide for over 500,000 illegal immigrants a year. I would hire more border patrol agents to prevent illegal immigrants from coming across. For those who avoid the warnings and continue to disobey and try to come across anyways, I would instruct the agents to shoot them (Once they know we are serious, nobody will try to cross). I would assign a large task force to remove all illegal immigrants and send them back to wherever they came from. Also, I would send all prisoners that are not citizens back to where they came from, unless they were in there for a very serious crime. I am not against immigrants, but they must do it legally like everyone else.

I would supply funds to welfare to help staff more social workers to get families in and out of the programs as fast as possible. With more workers, we could begin programs so welfare families are not allowed to stay on longer than a year.

I would legalize all gay marriage throughout the US. Even though we may not agree on the lifestyles, they are people just like us and many of them make positive contributions to society. If they are married it will make it easier for them to adopt our homeless children that are in great need of a home.

I would raise taxes on televisions, video games, cable, DVDs, and all other devices that are destructive to our minds and bodies. I would lower taxes on books and most educational things. I would build more schools to make it so that children had more one on one with teachers, and I would make private schools more affordable. I would raise minimum wage by three dollars to boost the economy and make it so that more families are able to keep one parent in the home to raise children the way it used to be. I would do my best to keep interest rates down and keep inflation down. Instead of raising taxes, I will simply cut wasteful or unneeded programs.

This is Bree Olson and I approve this message.

And they say porn sluts don’t know anything, Ha! I especially like the part about raising taxes on televisions, video games, cable, dvds, and “all other devices that are destructive to our minds and bodies.” Speaking of destroying minds and bodies, take a look at this gallery of Bree Olson getting fucked by 2 black dudes.

See more Bree at her official website

Tags: Adult Industry, Bree Olson, bree olson for president, Funny, genesis magazine, Porn, porn star president

Porn Stars Who Drunk Dial

This from porn starlet Nikki Kane’s blog:

Fuck, I drank too much again last night!

So, I’ve been good and haven’t been drinking too much since my birthday, but the end of last week and weekend, I got shitfaced, which I continued again last night and now am in the hiatus mood again. It wasn’t helped by the fact that I’d barely eaten anything all day. So now, I’m feeling tired and dopey…not too bad though and don’t really remember what I did last night, all I know is I didn’t sleep very well and have no clue why I’m up at 8:30. I do, however, remember around 8 or 9 o’clock, call and text messaging nearly every guy I have in my phonebook looking for sex…even some people who aren’t very good lays. Unfortunately, or fortunately in some cases, I didn’t get any…kinda reminds me of one friend of mine who told me she got drunk and called myriads of people on night and ended up having phone sex or something…lol. Oh well…

(hat tip Genesis)

Tags: Adult Industry, drunk dialing, Funny, nikki kane, nikki kane drinking, nikki kane drunk dial, nikki myspace drunk, Porn Stars

“Who’s Nailin’ Palin?”: The Script

You may or may not have read that Larry Flynt decided to make a porno featuring a Sarah Palin look-alike in honor of the Alaska Governor.

It was announced a week or so ago that the movie would be called “Who’s Nailin’ Palin?” and today we get a first look at the script.

Believe it or not I happen to be a big fan of the real Sarah Palin, but even I have to admit how funny this script is. Whether or not that humor translates to the actual movie itself remains to be seen, but reading it is pretty damn funny.

Tags: Adult Industry, Funny, Hustler, nailin palin, palin porno, porn spoof, sarah palin, script

Annette Schwarz: Why Are Guys Ashamed Of Their Hard Cocks?

Annette Schwarz says this today on her blog:

Boys whats up?!
Usually you are, for good understandable reasons, so proud on your cocks. But always when I make out with a guy in public - like kissing and stuff - they get a hard cock.
Immediately they do everything to hide it or make it go away. They are so afraid somebody could see that their cock is hard! So what everybody knows how a hard cock looks like, also its in your pants - god dam!

I wish, once I would met a guy who wouldn’t care, all day long I would do everything to make his cock hard in his pants - and walk around the city!

This thought is so hot for me. First from my view I would be really proud and smiling all day long - what a horny man I got!

And by the way, as a girl, I would get wet between my legs with his big hard cock next to me.

Annette asks a very interesting question. I never thought much about it before, but she’s right. It’s automatic for us guys to try and hide our wood in public. I think it’s just an automatic thing for us to do psychologically.

For the record, you can make my cock hard in public anytime you want Annette — just tell me when and where.

Tags: annette schwarz, annette's blog, Funny, hard cocks, Pornstars, public sex

Radical Muslim Cleric Can’t Keep Daughter Off The Pole

If this isn’t proof that Karma is real, then I don’t know what the fuck is. Omar Bakri Mohammed is a Syrian born Islamic radical who until very recently lived in Britain. He’s widely credited with developing the terrorist group Hizbut-Tahrir into a major force in the U.K. He’s known to be an associate of Osama bin Laden and has often referred to the 9/11 hijackers as ‘the magnificent 19′ and promised more attacks on the West.

After getting wind of a coming investigation and potential arrest by British authorities he fled back to the Middle East and settled in Lebanon. The British government has since revoked his citizenship and barred him from returning to Britain.

One of the issues that Omar Bakri feels most strongly about is women. He believes all women should be covered from head to toe at all times — that means wearing a burka.

What makes that particularly amusing is that his daughter is a stripper at various London night clubs. Even more incredible is that in public Bakri rails against “Western depravity” and howls about women flaunting their sexuality, while behind the scenes he paid for his daughter to have DD breast implants. According the London Sun, it was the breast implants that launched his daughter’s pole dancing career.

The daughter’s name is Yasmin Fostock and she’s one of the best ass shakers in London. She says that she loves to party and is willing to go topless if the price is right.

Those who know her claim she’s an “animal” in the sack and “very athletic.” Judging from the pictures I’ve seen Yasmin looks pretty fucking good. I’d probably have to bang her, and I don’t even dig on Arab bitches.

Her old man allegedly knew nothing about her career. He admitted to The Sun that he hadn’t spoken with his daughter in a very long time but assumed she was still married and possibly living in Turkey.

After learning of his daughter’s ass shaking he was shocked/horrified to hear about it. He told The Sun that his daughter “was brought up properly in the Muslim faith” and that she should “seek forgiveness from God.”

This is the greatest story ever. That hateful bastard got was coming to him for all his insane rantings.

When asked about her father, Yasmin said this:

“I don’t agree with his views — I just get on with my life and that’s it.”

Good for her. You have to respect her courage to defy her hateful father and his hateful ideology.

The one area I find deeply disturbing is that Yasmin frequently travels to Egypt for vacations. She’s fucking crazy to do that given the publicity she’s recently received. You just know there’s some crazy militants out there just looking to chop her head off.

In fact, radical Islam is all about ‘honor killings’ and from what I’ve read her father has more than earned the right to kill her himself. She’s really not even safe walking much less dancing around Londonstan London given the radicalism on the streets of late.

What she should do is come to America and visit Porn Valley. She could give her Dad the middle digit while getting pounded in the ass by a cadre of infidel crusaders — and maybe a Jew or two.

(hat tip PopPorn)

Tags: Funny, islamic militants, News, Omar Bakri Mohammed, pole dancing, Porn News, strippers, yasmin fostock

Young, Dumb, And Full Of…

America’s favorite sometimes porn journalist Scott Fayner posted a hilarious story today about something he witnessed on a porn set the other day:

I was at a shoot the other day and somehow the topic of discussion amongst the porno folk turned to douches and enemas. It was probably due to the fact that all the girls were about to use a douche, but in my stoned state I can never be too sure.

I remember that when I heard what follows I was staring at August’s chest, and although after hearing it I remember looking at boobs just wasn’t that fun anymore.

Okay, so apparently some new chick was doing her first anal scene. The P.A. or whoever handed her an enema, said “Use it before your scene to clean yourself out.”

She went off to do just that.

Then came back. “I don’t feel so good,” she said.

The girl had drank the enema instead of shooting it up her rectum.

Now that’s funny. I don’t care who you are, that is fucking funny.

Tags: Adult Industry, drinking enema, Funny, Industry News, News, scott fayner, young and stupid

Video: Shitty Advice From Tom Byron

This is pretty funny.

(hat tip to Popporn)

Tags: Adult Industry, Advice, Funny, nina hartley, shitty advice, tom byron, tom byron advice, Video

Sex And The City Love Doll

If you thought you’d seen it all, this should be proof you haven’t. With all the hype surrounding the release of the “Sex And The City” movie, leave it to the adult industry to capitalize on it.

Behold the “Sara Jessica Pork Her” Love Doll that according to the box “Loves Sex In Her Shitty.”

See it and buy it HERE

Tags: Adult Industry, Funny, love dolls, sex and the city, Sex Toys, Spoofs

Fleshbot Reviews Mike John’s “Elastic Assholes 6″

You just gotta read this hilarious review of porn director extraordinaire Mike John’s newly released flick, “Elastic Assholes 6.” The pictures that accompany the review are fucking Grade A as well. If you haven’t had the pleasure of watching anything from the “Elastic Assholes” series yet, then clearly you don’t know shit about good porn.

We have a few from the series HERE

Tags: elastic assholes, Funny, mike john, Porn News, reviews

A Pussy Cab?

This is just nasty. So nasty in fact that I wanted everyone else to be tortured by repeated mental images of this playing in their head.

This is allegedly the crude work of Finish artist Mimosa Pale. The bitch actually gets a few people a week to ride in that fucking thing!

Gruesome…Just Gruesome

(via PopPorn)

Tags: Funny, gross, Mainstream, News, pussy cab