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Some Kink I Find Chilling

February 24th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in adult shopping, opinion

I’m all about sex toys and kinky shit. Whatever floats your boat I say go for it. However, there is some kink that I find just plain creepy — or even downright chilling. I don’t know why but I just get bad vibes from it.

Here’s the kind of shit I’m talking about:

The Dog Face Hood

dog face hood

The Bunny Hood

Bunny Hood

Pig Face Hood

Pig Face Hood

Again, to each his own, but this shit is too weird for me. It’s like some kind of freak show horror movie. It doesn’t make my dick hard, it makes me want to run as fast as I can in the other direction.

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Shop: Top 10 Sex Toys Of 2009

December 15th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Porn News, adult shopping

Sex Toy Shopping

Our good friends at Fleshbot put together a holiday shopping guide of the top 10 sex toys of 2009. I agree with most of what’s on the list, but I wanted to see what you think.

1. Form 2

2. Sqweel

3. Contour Q

4. Finger Tingles

5. Bloomy

6. Imperial

7. Bolero Straightjacket

8. Tenth Anniversary Tristan Butt Plug

9. OhMiBod Freestyle

10. The Real Touch

I actually think The Real Touch should be closer to the top. Missing from this list are some of the amazing glass toys that came out this year. Beyond that, it’s a pretty good list.

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Give The Wife A Dildo Molded From Your Own Wang

July 8th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in adult shopping

Clone-A-Willy

If the wife, girlfriend, or even “gumar” has been begging you for a dildo, but you’re just a big pussy and don’t want her to have one, I have a compromise that just may save your relationship!

Adult novelty site Privacy Toys is selling do-it-yourself penis molds for making dildos, vibrators, and even candles molded from your own penis.

The appropriately named “Clone-A-Willy” kit is designed by a doctor and comes with everything you need:

Designed by a Doctor, it’s a complete kit that perfectly copies a man’s own penis in super realistic rubber. Each kit comes with easy to follow instructions and includes everything necessary to produce an EXACT rubber copy of any penis! Your finished dildo is made from a proprietary skin-like substance that is not latex or silicone, but a completely safe, non porous rubber material that is hypoallergenic & non-toxic. It’s currently being used throughout Hollywood to create incredibly lifelike masks & special effects. Unlike silicone, it WILL NOT break down when used with water-based OR silicone-based lubricants.

So there you have it! Your old lady can finally have the toy she’s been wanting and you’ll have the satisfaction of seeing your manhood memorialized like some kind of phallic shrine.

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Make Her Squirt With A Hitachi Magic Wand

March 31st, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in adult shopping

If you watch porn with any regularity there’s a very good chance you’ve seen this device before:

Hitachi-Wand

It’s called the Hitachi Magic Wand and it’s what makes porn sluts squirt like a broken fire hydrant. If you wanna make your old lady go fucking crazy you need to buy a Hitachi. I’ve used this on a couple of sluts and I can tell you it’s insane.

Right now, Privacy Toys has the Hitachi Magic Wand on sale for $43.50 bitches.

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Sex Toy “Stimulus Sale” At Privacy Toys

March 17th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Porn News, adult shopping

photo_sex_toys

Privacy Toys is running a sex toy “stimulus sale” for the next 10 days. You can get 10% off for the next 10 days.

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Behold The Barack Obama Dildo

February 12th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in adult shopping

I wish I was making this up, but I’m not. Take a look at this “Head O State Obama Dildo” — in “Democratic Blue” no less.

obama dildo 166x300 Behold The Barack Obama Dildo

Buy it @ Privacy Toys

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Top 10 Naughty Valentine’s Day Gifts

February 12th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Porn News, adult shopping

valentines day 300x271 Top 10 Naughty Valentines Day Gifts

Forget all the cliche bullshit associated with Valentine’s day and get your woman something to spice up your love making (or fucking as the case may be). Here are some interesting gifts that could make this the best Valentine’s Day you’ve ever had.

  1. Heart Throb Love Kit
  2. Kama Sutra Raspberry Kiss Gift Set
  3. Essence Pleasure Pak
  4. Lover’s Choice Enchanted Evening
  5. A bed of roses gift set in champagne bucket
  6. Basket of Love
  7. Lover’s choice fantasy suite gift set
  8. BlowGuard
  9. Adam & Eve Sampler Kit
  10. Wascally Rabbit Vibrator
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Get Your Old Lady Something She’d Never Expect This Christmas — Sex Toys!

December 17th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in adult shopping

photo sex toys 300x219 Get Your Old Lady Something Shed Never Expect This Christmas    Sex Toys!

Listen up motherfuckers! Christmas is just around the corner and if you haven’t yet bought anything for your better half (and she is your better half) then I have a few suggestions. Why not get her something you both can use to spice things up in the sack? If your wife or girlfriend doesn’t yet have a vibrator then you should get her one. In our shop, we have every toy you could want plus a variety of costumes and lingerie.

Click HERE to visit the House of Sodom Sex Superstore

Click HERE to visit our other store called Privacy Toys

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BlowGuard — The Perfect Gift?

December 5th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in adult shopping

When I first saw the ad for this I thought it was some kind of joke. I suppose it makes sense technically, but who’s really gonna ask their old lady to put in her mouthpiece?

blowguard 300x171 BlowGuard    The Perfect Gift?

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Behold — Anal Acrobats 3

October 21st, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in Movies, adult shopping

1000009015 dvdc Behold    Anal Acrobats 3

I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that the Anal Acrobats series are the greatest porn movies ever made. Yes, you heard me correctly — the best ever.

If you can get through the first 15 minutes of any Anal Acrobats movie without blowing a load prematurely in your pants, then you sir, are a better man than me.

Before the emails start flying in that I’m a fucking tool who’s talking crazy, let me be clear. If you don’t like anal sex then you won’t like this movie — and I won’t like you.

But if you do like anal, then you likely won’t leave your fucking house for a week.

Anal Acrobats 3 hit stores yesterday and I’m planning to watch it tonight.

If you don’t know you better ax somebody.

You can also take a look at Anal Acrobats #1 at House of Sodom VOD

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Don’t Put This On Your Willy

October 21st, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in adult shopping

willy spread new Dont Put This On Your Willy

A chocolate spread sold in sex shops in the U.K. called ‘Willy Spread’ is being taken off store shelves after it was found to be contaminated. The stuff is of course imported from China (shocking I know) and sold in the U.K.

The spread is believed to be contaminated with an industrial chemical called melamine. This same substance was found in contaminated milk in China in the last few weeks and caused the death of four babies and sickened thousands more.

Some Chinese-made dairy products have been deliberately contaminated with melamine, a chemical that helps milk register as higher in protein than it actually is. The tainted milk products have caused to the deaths of four babies and sickened tens of thousands across China. The European Union has ordered testing of Chinese-made products including chocolate, candy and cookies that contain more than 15 percent milk powder.

The Food Standards Agency said the chocolate body spread had more than 50 times the allowed level of melamine.

The adult industry needs to really keep an eye on products coming from China. They’ve been sending us potentially cancer causing sex toys for years. The first so-called ‘jelly’ toys to hit the market a few years back it turns out were probably deadly. They were the last fucking things on earth a woman would want to stick inside them.

I remember when shipments of sex toys would have a strange greasy liquid leaking from the box and they smelled horrible. They had actually begun to melt on the way from China.

At any rate, it’s best to stick with products made in the USA when it comes to sex toys or fucking edible underwear, or ‘Willy Spread.’ Oh yeah, and even hair ties.

It’s a real mood killer when you apply Willy Spread and your willy falls off.

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Get Your Copy Of ‘Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge’

October 15th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in adult shopping

pirates2 Get Your Copy Of Pirates 2: Stagnettis Revenge

If you haven’t seen Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge yet then you must. This may well be the one and only time I endorse a feature movie. As I’ve said many times on this site, feature movies are shit! Forget the plots and the bad acting and get to the fucking. Gonzo is the best kind of porn, period.

Having said that, I was pleasantly surprised by Pirates 2. It’s the biggest and most expensive porn of all time and it shows. The movie really is entertaining as hell. The acting is good, the girls are gorgeous , and the costumes look pretty fucking good.

If you want a porn movie that is watchable from beginning to end regardless of whether you’ve shot your wad, then Pirates 2 is for you.

For a limited time you can get the 4-disc boxed set of Pirates 2 for only $54.99 in the shop. Buy it this week and get a free gift as well!

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Halloween: It’s All About The Sexy Costume

September 9th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in adult shopping

Halloween is fast approaching and we have some great costumes this year. We all know Halloween is the one day of the year can when your girl can dress up like the porn slut you’ve always wanted her to be. Take advantage of that and get her one of these:

schoolgirl 112x150 Halloween: Its All About The Sexy Costume foreignexchange 112x150 Halloween: Its All About The Sexy Costume sassysatan 112x150 Halloween: Its All About The Sexy Costume cheerleader 112x150 Halloween: Its All About The Sexy Costume

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Edible Candy Lingerie

August 7th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in adult shopping

candybra Edible Candy Lingerie candythong1 Edible Candy Lingerie

Everybody needs to check out the hot deals we have this month over at the House of Sodom Sex Superstore. We’re offering some pretty unique edible candy lingerie that just might be the ticket to adding a little fire to your relationship.

All candy lingerie is only $9.99!!

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Sex And The City Love Doll

June 3rd, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in adult shopping

sexandshitty Sex And The City Love Doll

If you thought you’d seen it all, this should be proof you haven’t. With all the hype surrounding the release of the “Sex And The City” movie, leave it to the adult industry to capitalize on it.

Behold the “Sara Jessica Pork Her” Love Doll that according to the box “Loves Sex In Her Shitty.”

See it and buy it HERE

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If Your Buying Gifts, Buy Adult Gifts

May 28th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in adult shopping

sex toys console01 300x200 If Your Buying Gifts, Buy Adult Gifts

It seems like every fucking time I turn around it’s another day when gift-giving is obligatory. It might be Valentine’s Day, Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, birthdays, or some other day, but it’s always time to give.

I don’t mind giving it just seems like it always sneaks up on me. I know I’m not the only one who feels that way, so as usual I have some unsolicited advice to offer.

Don’t forget about all the adult goodies you can buy that “special someone” in your life. I highly recommend everyone take a look at the House of Sodom Sex Superstore (shameless plug). You can find literally thousands of great products, from toys, to movies, to bondage gear.

Right now, get a FREE gift with every single purchase!!

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